Hitmen, and lack of them

Alright ladies and gentlemen, have you ever been talking to someone and they can't help but say something like "OMG, IM A HITMAN, LOLZ"? Doesn't it make you just want to stab something? Or for that matter, strangle something? Or use a lot of theoretical questions?

Now, this wouldn't be an issue at all is these people had ever held a length of garroting wire, or carry a silenced P99 with them. Hell, I would even settle for someone carrying around a Butterfly or WASP knife, so long as they did so in a really smarmy fashion. Sadly, doing the occasional lackluster stunt and threatening to kill someone after they steal some of your food does not make you a Hitman.

Another thing. A Hitman is a highly professional (Most of the time) and skilled assassin who's entire job relies on secrecy and staying anonymous. Riddle me this: Why would someone who preforms professional and hard to track killing for a living announce his/her occupation, much less on a MySpace profile? It's like driving a big white van with the words "Dead Bodies Inside" around a heavily policed area just for the fun of it. Come to think of that, I'm going to try that sometime, while wearing a purple tuxedo. Look for me on dateline.

Buy some Kevlar padded suits and a Denel NTW-20 in a padded briefcase. Strangle someone to death in a elevator and hide the body in a roof. Then call yourself a hitman. Otherwise, shut up.