Plant life (and by extention, Numerous mentions of ObScure)

As the Germans say: Eine Welt ohne Betriebe ist nur so gut wie Hochschule ohne gefährliche schwarze Betriebe, die als gefährliche halluzinogenische Substanz dienen, die Veränderungen mit dem Ergebnis eines Gruppe Bestehens später verursachen kann: Ein Hacker, ein akrobatischer Skater mit einem kühlen Auto und Schrotflinte, ein Norweger, ein goth, ein PizzaLieferbote, der erlernte, wie man Verriegelungen auswählt, als er Zeit im Gefängnis, in einem Fußballspieler verbrachte, in einem videospiel gewesenen asiatischen Mädchen mit einem komischen Namen und einem blondem mit einem IQ von über 150 zusammen ausgießend, um die veränderten Gleichen zu kämpfen und später in einem Professor, der ihnen anfangs heraus hilft, indem es sie mit Spritzen und Batterien liefert, aber verrät sie später um des Bildens des Plots willen sogar weniger Binde- aber neueres Fallopfer zum Bruder des Goth Mädchens (der Fußballspieler) der unter Stadiumlichtern zerquetscht wird.

Or, for those of you who can’t read German: A world without plants is only as good as college without dangerous black plants that serve as a dangerous hallucinogenic substance that can later cause mutations resulting in a group consisting of: A hacker, an acrobatic skater with a fast car and shotgun, a Norwegian, a Goth, a pizza delivery man who learned how to pick locks when he spent time in jail, a football player, a video game obsessed Asian girl with a comical name and a blond girl with an IQ of over 150 teaming together to fight the mutated peers and later a professor who at first helps them out by supplying them with syringes and batteries but later betrays them for the sake of making the plot even less cohesive but later falls victim to the Goth girl's brother (the football player) who is crushed beneath stadium lights. (Really)

Or, for those of you who really don’t feel like hearing a poorly abbreviated survival-horror plotline: A peaceful world without plants is like a rich white child without media preference lest anything goes wrong (like a door jamming).
Or, for those of you who ignored the last paragraph because it began with the word “or” (in which case you should stop reading this, even though it is directed at you), the world needs plants to survive. Now, some of you may wonder what plants have to do with the road to making progress (or perhaps, in some extreme cases, actual success in life). My answer: Shut up.
But seriously, while attempting to live your hopefully progressing life, it is important to remember just what plants do for us. In fact, without plants, we wouldn’t have any of the following:

• Oxygen
• Cannabis addictions
• Date Rape
• About half the poisons we have today
• Some form of tourist control (In the form of people who believe that reading a brief page found on Yahoo makes them botanists and accidentally ingest Belladonna, believing it to be some form of medicinal herb)
• 2,000 people dying per day thanks to tobacco usage
• Opium addictions
• Botany
• Strange black leaves that grow on college campuses causing hallucinations and eventual mutations
• Tea
• Herbal Essence Shampoo and Conditioner (Actually, this is strictly theoretical. We would probably still have it even with a lack of any actual Herbal Essence)
• People comically slipping on banana peels (They would have to slip on something else, like say, for example: beef)
• Faust



As you might have hopefully recognized, without plants, we would lack not only something impossible to live without, but a means of breathing as well (in the form of Oxygen and Faust, in that order.) Unfortunately, most of the other things that plants give us are not so beneficial (Now before anybody says anything, only some parts of this blog are meant to be taken seriously, and this is not one of them). To make a point, I have decided to prepare a small chart, useful for identifying most of the important plants.



Now that we have all that out of the way, I bid thee adeiu until next time, as quite frankly, I'm getting sick of talking about plants